In my life, baking, in most cases, is more therapeutic than tears. There is nothing more heartbreaking than watching someone you love, slip away slowly in front of your eyes. Especially when you knew it was a strong fear of theirs. My Granny was such an amazing, warm hearted, religious, family oriented, shining beacon of what a woman should be. At 98 years of age, she was still living in her own home, and for the most part, taking care of herself, until her string of strokes began. Within a matter of months, our vivacious, active and spirited Great Grandmother had slipped away into a shell of the person we looked up to. The last few weeks of her life, when hospice was finally brought in, we all rallied together, around her bedside, knowing there was not another single place in this world we rather be. As the days grew tougher and her outlook becoming more and more bleak, I found myself sitting by the woman I loved whole heartedly, and watching as her chest would rise and fall. Every time her chest would take a few extra seconds to rise again, I would instantly feel a tightness in my own chest, my senses heightening, my stomach in knots, until I witnessed another inhale of oxygen. When her nurse finally said she only had a maximum of 24-36 hours left in this world, I allowed myself to walk away from her bedside for a moment to do what I knew was best for me, and bake. I tried to collect my thoughts on what I wanted to bake.. cookies.. a cake.. pie? None seemed like a good option to me.. I just wanted to make a recipe that was close to my heart, so that I could just zone out and let the baking take control of my ever saddening emotions. I looked around the kitchen... Bananas.. check.. sugar.. duh of course.. flour.. obviously. Then it connected the dots.. banana bread. But wait, someone already made that this week... so what could I do?? I opened the fridge.. strawberries. And then.. Light bulb.. I'll make strawberry banana bread. What an genius idea, since Granny loves banana's and she always went strawberry picking every single year. I hear it was quite tasty.. I didn't get to taste a piece since it was vaporized in a matter of minutes.
Here is what I did:
Ingredients
- 1/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
- 1/4 cup strawberry flavored greek yogurt
- 3 ripe bananas
- 1 cup strawberries, diced
- 1 cup splenda (or you can use regular sugar)
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
- 2 eggs
- 1 1/2 cups all purpose flour ( I sifted mine, but it isn't a requirement)
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Directions
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
- In a large bowl, mash bananas. Add butter and sugar and mix well. Then add yogurt, eggs and vanilla and mix well.
- In a separate bowl, sift together baking soda, baking powder, salt,
cinnamon and flour. Add dry ingredients to wet and mix until just
combined.
- Fold in sliced strawberries.
- Pour batter into a greased loaf pan and bake 55-60 minutes.
Just as the oven alarm began to sound, I heard the sound I was hoping not to hear, "she is gone, Granny is gone, she just took her last breath and it was so peaceful". Panic arose in me, and I quickly went outside to tell the boy and my family that Granny has finally left this world to be in the most beautiful place called heaven. I am not even sure I can tell you what words left my mouth to express the passing of my Granny to the family.. it was all a huge blur and I felt like I was completely out of my own body, just watching it like it was a movie. It has only been 3 weeks since she has departed us, but I still feel her ever so close to me. I often find myself subconsciously smelling older ladies as they walk past me in the grocery store, just to see if I can smell my Granny. That must sound really weird, but it is true. I feel her sometimes in the wind that blows and encompasses my body like a Granny hug would. Oh Granny, I am so thankful you are not in pain anymore, but I sure do miss you terribly.
Granny with our Son, only a month before her strokes began.
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